{"Keeping it Personal" Radio Interview!}

Good afternoon We are His daughters, friends!

About a week ago now Keeping it Personal Radio personality, Teri Johnson, approached our president, Mandy Hill about being a guest on her Thursday afternoon radio show!

With excitement, Mandy agreed to share a bit about her faith journey and touch on some of the unexpected circumstances that she has faced in her life so far.

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We would be so honoured if you would join Mandy and Teri at KIPRadio!

www.kipradio.com

Have a wonderful day, friends!

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{Ministry Mom} When the Journey is Long and Wearisome.

Written by: Mandy Hill

My husband and I have been chatting often about our summer vacation. There are six of us now and while we do own a larger vehicle, our minds become unsettled and anxious about the long and wearisome journey of travel that lies before us.

We have travelled the roads to our hometown many times before. Parts of this twenty-four hour road trip are absolutely beautiful, some parts are even really exciting as we are able to show certain landmarks to our kids for the first time, while others parts just feel long and mundane.

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A few years ago we decided that rather than travel to our hometowns in two days, we would stretch it out over three days instead. At the time we only had three children, ages three, two and three months. Our three year old was motion sick multiple times along the way, our two year old never ever stopped talking and it wasn’t long before the two of us adults were whining and griping about our travel misfortunes. Our three month old was the best behaved of us all! The journey felt like it took an eternity and we have been nervous to embark on such a torturous trek ever since.

As I was thinking about these things recently The Lord spoke to my heart. There are oftentimes that God sets us on a journey in life. There may be parts of the journey that are incredibly captivating and beautiful. Other parts of the journey may stick out because of an exciting first or while experiencing something fresh and new. Still other times we may feel weary and worn down because the journey has felt like it’s lasted too long, you feel far from where you were in the beginning, and further yet from your destination.

God spoke to my spirit and gently reminded me of the importance of ‘the journey’. No matter how long, we must travel the entire journey to reach the other side. If we stall the journey or stop in the middle we are only delaying our reaching our destination. I also felt God show me the importance in embracing each moment of the journey; to take each new step with eyes-wide-open in order to see everything He would have me to see. There may be parts of the journey that become wearisome and mundane; however, my experiences have taught me that God has never stopped working. He is always faithful, always growing and shaping me even when it doesn’t feel like it. (Sometimes even in ways I’m not a fan of.)

Is there a journey that you are on, friend, or one that lies ahead of you that causes you to feel anxious and weary? Rather than worry about the unknowns can I encourage you to instead embrace every moment with eyes-wide-open. In every thing, with every step; strive to see God. Find the joy in every twist and see His faithfulness in every turn. I can’t promise your journey will be easy, I can’t even promise your journey will end the way you hope; but I do promise you WILL reach the other side because God will be with you.

Father God, thank You for always being with us wherever we are. No matter what roads or journeys we face, we can rest in the assurance that You will most certainly be present for every moment. Please open our eyes to see what You would have us see along the way. In Your name, Jesus, Amen.

{Faith} From Dirt to Rose.

A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (Ecclesiastes 3:4)

Imagine a beautiful garden.

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In my minds eye I picture a beautiful cream coloured cement deck overlooking a large body of water that spans as far as the eyes can see. All around me are beautiful bunches of luscious red and pink roses. The sun warms my face as a soft breeze wisps my hair around ever so gently. I almost need to squint when I look out at the water because the sun bounces off so radiantly. It’s beauty at its finest.

Out of the corner of my eye I notice a flower garden with a vacant spot. A space that is void of the beautiful roses I see all around me…..a space that is just soil. It almost seems to be out of place; a distraction from the magnificence of its surroundings.

Do you ever feel like that mound of soil? All around you are beautiful roses (successful business women, really awesome ‘got-it-all-together’ moms, amazing wives) and you just feel like dirt…. Like you never could compare to their greatness? You feel like you give your roles as wife, mom, friend, etc your best and you still feel like everyone else is ahead.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9 NIV)

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Sometimes our God sets us on a journey of growth. That doesn’t mean that we are destined to be dirt until the end of eternity; it just means that this ‘time’ is for growing. Sometimes situations we face make us feel like we are buried underneath the dirt…..but I believe that If we give God the reigns He will give us deep roots in Him, and in His timing we will see the beauty of the harvest.

Sister, don’t waste your time looking at this one or that one comparing your lack-of to her abundance. Look up, thank God for the very place He has you and let him rain down on you, filling up your soul with His love and beauty. Don’t worry about how long it will take to get to the harvest, instead enjoy all he has for you during this time of growth.

Jesus, thank You. Thank You that there is a time for everything under heaven. Thank You that we know that even though there is a time for sadness, You promise there is also a time for happiness. Thank You God that there is not only a time for growth, but also a time for harvest! Jesus, thank You for the promise that we don’t have to camp out in the dirt forever….but that You are gently growing us into beautiful people; people in your likeness. Jesus, I pray for my sister who just feels like dirt. I pray that You will remind her that You have great plans for her life, that beauty awaits, that there is a bright future for her. I pray that You will encourage my sister today with these promises. Let her not be discouraged by this time of grooming….instead give her strength to embrace it; allowing You to consume every fibre of her soul. I pray this in Your holy name, amen.

{HOMESCHOOL WEEK} The road less travelled.

By: Carrie Bauer

I remember the first time that I heard of home schooling. It was 1985 and I was going to a Christian high school. I remember asking a teacher about a group of kids using our gym. The teacher told me that they were home schooled. I remember thinking about it and questioning this strange concept. This was the start of the Lord impressing home schooling on my heart.

When our oldest daughter was a toddler, my husband and I started to talk together about her education. I distinctly remember the day that we sat down at the kitchen table and wrote out columns on a blank piece of paper. Soon the paper was filled with the pros and cons of public, Christian and home schooling education choices. Needless to say, homeschooling was our choice after much thoughtful prayer and consideration. We have been committed to homeschooling for 16 years now and will continue in our commitment to educate our children until they graduate 12th grade. Our oldest two daughters are finished and are both in college. Hannah is going into her third year at Boyce College in Louisville, Kentucky. Grace finished a year early and did online college last year and is going to a Bible school in Germany in September. Abby will be in grade 10 and Jonny will be in grade 8 in September.

We have loved having our children at home full time for all these years. It is a difficult choice and one that is not void of sacrifice. There are hard, difficult days and we trust wholly in God’s grace to endure. I believe the benefits are well worthy and far outweigh the sacrifices. Our primary reason we home school is to impart the scriptures to our children and to saturate their learning with the Lord’s ways. We have spent 16 years reading the Bible and missionary stories to our kids daily. This has impacted their lives for His kingdom and we have seen the fruit of our labours as our children have served Him on the mission field. Another huge benefit is seeing our children interact with each other. They are very close and share a tight bond. A few years ago, I wrote this poem that embodies my journey of home schooling:

My Home schooling Journey
The path that I take is covered with aging moss and delicate flowers.
Others have traveled the path, leaving footprints to follow. Its way may seem
unclear at times as it leads me up steep inclines and challenging craigs.
It winds around places that are unfamiliar as I climb the jagged rocks.
My Father is with me in this journey. The glowing, warm sun illuminates the way
and is a light shining. He is the ultimate guide and I am following Him.
I hear His calm voice as He holds my hand and leads me.
I know that He has chosen the path, it is of His design.
I know that I will succeed if I persevere.
He gives me strength moment by moment to
continue…I have taken the road less traveled…it is the hard choice- but, its
rewards are most worthy and eternal.

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About Carrie:
I am a daughter of God, saved by His grace. I was so blessed to grow up in a Christian home with godly parents. I’m originally from Michigan and have lived in Canada since 1995. I was a pastor’s daughter that married her best friend in 1990. I am a proud mother of three daughters and a son, ages 12-19.

{HOMESCHOOL WEEK} All in God’s Plan.

By: Carol Maedel

A very popular old maxim states that every journey begins with a single step. Although there is truth to this statement, what really matters is Who is ordering the steps along the way. Psalm 37:23 states: “The LORD directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives.”

I had no idea at the time but in hindsight I recognize that God actually planted the idea of homeschooling in my mind at the tender age of 9, when my grade 4 class was given the assignment to read a short story about a young girl who was homeschooled because she lived in a remote part of Alaska. That story really resonated with me, and I dreamed of being that little girl….for a few days anyways, and then I forgot all about her. But God continued to prepare me for being a teacher to my own two boys. He instilled in me a love of reading, learning, and teaching from the very beginning. As the psalmist says in Psalm 139:13, “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” I eagerly read many books during my childhood, and I occasionally played school with any younger sibling who would allow me to teach him or her during the summer holidays. My parents even kindly supplied me with my own chalk and chalk board so I could be a more “effective” teacher.

When I was much older and trying to decide which career path to follow, my wise mom would insist that I would make a great teacher. Well, at this point in my life I was tired of school so my emphatic response to that idea was, “No way. I am not going to go to school for the rest of my life.”

God has a great sense of humour.

The next step was teacher’s college. Even though I thought I was preparing to become a classroom teacher, God was quietly preparing me for homeschooling. Although it is completely unnecessary to have a Bachelor of Education to teach your children well, God knew that I would want to feel qualified. I taught French as a Second Language for three years before I was married. A year and a half after our marriage, our first born entered the world and 19 months later his brother was born. Sometime during our eldest’s first two years of life, God impressed on me the importance of keeping our sons at home for school. Protecting them from the negative aspects of the public school system and most importantly desiring for them an education from a Christian worldview with God at the centre, became persistent thoughts for me. My husband and I also wanted to create a strong family unit and guard and protect the hearts of the dear children with whom we would be blessed. I read many books written by moms who had already been or who were well on their way through the homeschool journey. I also perused many catalogues selling curriculum of all kinds. So, when our oldest was ready and knowing this was God’s will for our family, and with my Christian curriculum in hand and an idyllic picture of what our homeschool was going to look like; I took the first step down the road of officially teaching our boys.

I quickly learned that even when one is following God’s will, things do not flow perfectly smoothly. Not surprisingly, the idyllic serene picture of two model boys diligently bent over their school work in a sparkling clean house with the smell of homemade bread baking in the oven was not the norm. I soon discovered that homeschooling can be messy. Sometimes children do not want to work on their assignments, and when children are at home 24 hours a day, there will be lego and dinky cars lying on the floor and squabbles between the children and maybe even between the children and parents! However, God taught me that He does not expect perfection but obedience, and He uses those imperfect moments to teach me patience.

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God has led me one step at a time down the homeschooling path which teaches me to trust Him for whatever we need. The journey has definitely been a walk by faith and not by sight. God always provides and has a plan even when I can’t see it. He has ensured that we have enough money for our tithe, curriculum, paying the bills, food, and even some extras, even though we are a one income family. Approximately two and a half to three years ago I remember washing dishes and looking out the kitchen window praying to God to please bring some godly friends into our boys lives. I had no idea where these teens would come from. God has indeed provided our sons with a wonderful group of friends from our new church family. They now have a very active social life at exactly the moment they needed it. At this point I cannot see the next two steps in the path. I am unsure of which kind of post-secondary education each of our sons will pursue and what my life will look like after this amazing blessed season of homeschooling is completed. I do know though that God already has it planned out just as He planned this homeschooling journey from my youth. God is faithful. I will continue to pray for His guidance, and He will continue to lead us forward one step at a time in order to finish the work He began.

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Carol Maedel has been married for 19 years to her wonderful husband, Lonnie. They have two amazing boys ages 17 and 15. She feels so blessed that she has been able to be a homeschooling mom for the last 13 years. Carol enjoys reading, baking, camping with her family, and hiking at Algonquin Park. Carol loves the Lord and wishes to glorify Him in everything she does. She and her family reside in the hamlet of Paquette Corners, Ontario.

{Girl Edition} Journey Of Singleness…

By: Kerrington Sweeney

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Today I am going to talk about something, that is so very near and dear to my heart, and that is the topic of… ‘Singleness.’

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
{Jeremiah 29:11}

What messes up most of our lives,
Is the picture we have in our heads of how our lives
are supposed to be.
If that snapshot in your dream-scrapbook includes a handsome hubby by your side, you’re probably wondering about now… where he is.
Yeah, I thought he’d be here by now too.

Plenty of other Godly, single women in every age range are thinking the same thing. I included…
But my heart breaks and truly aches,
For the many women I have met
Who have settled for less than the
God-given best.

Women who didn’t believe that they were worth the fight, magnificent, extravagant, and crazy amazing…

I’m saddened by how easy it is for us women to give our hearts away, sometimes to the most undeserving of men.

Women will only be choosy when they believe that they are worth choosing. When we begin to believe we are treasures worth finding and precious gems worth keeping…
Our mindsets instantly start to change for the better.

Choosing to wait for our future spouses’
goes beyond a boundary,
It goes beyond any rules.
It is overflowing in love, purity,
And true desire.

I choose to wait for whoever God has for me because,
I believe that this season of waiting will help mold me into the Woman of God, He has called me to be.

I think part of our problem as Christian women lies in,
Our fear of unconditionally trusting God.
Deep down, we want to fully trust Him, but we wonder if we really truly can. We wonder if He will really follow through. We wonder if He knows us, as well as we think we know ourselves.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;”
{Proverbs 3:5}

I believe waiting will teach us to trust God with everything…Even in our ‘love lives’ 😉

The purpose of waiting is NOT because we are waiting for God to ‘hurry up and finally bring the guy’.

Keeping this in mind,
God isn’t keeping that wonderful man from you.
Nor, has He forgotten that you’re over there waiting. You’re not on your own.

You don’t have to invest all your time and energy looking right, or being in the right place, at the right time to find God’s perfect match for you.

Instead, our energies are better spent growing every day into amazing women of God, who will recognize
God’s man when he shows up in our lives.

We are being shaped and formed each day,
Into the greater image of Christ.
There are things God is working out of us, and into us.

God created us with one sole purpose of knowing Him and making Him known. Your singleness is God’s perfect place for you to thrive. You don’t have to wait for your
“knight-in-shining-armor”
To start living your life.
You can know the Lord fully and serve Him wholly right here, right now.

The purpose I believe, in our singleness is to take every day and glorify Jesus in everything we do.

From saying hello to people,
To serving those who need help.
It is an incredible opportunity to be able to spend hours with God in prayer, in fasting, and in worship.
It is an opportunity to let our lives
Be true living sacrifices.

My desire for my life is to be a reminder to the world that singleness does not mean you are “stuck”.
Remember, waiting is not always a bad thing, ladies!!

Waiting is an opportunity for God to purify and perfect His will in our lives. The longer we wait, the more time we can invest in becoming more Christ-like, as Single Ladies 🙂

Every day is an opportunity to be
Refined in God’s fiery love.
Every day is an opportunity to say yes to love
And no to fear.
Every day is an opportunity to open locked doors in our hearts and to discover hidden talents and desires.
Every day is an opportunity to go deeper
In God’s intimate love.

When we begin looking at this season of waiting as an opportunity to be purified and refined for a possible spouse, it most definitely becomes way more of an adventure!!

Instead of dreading each new day, wondering if every person we see is “the one.”

We can start living right now,
We now can choose to see the beauty in each and every day, knowing that it is shaping us to be who He called us to be. (First and foremost a Lover of God)

“Trust in the LORD forever…”
{Isaiah 26:4}

The journey to one day become a
Wife starts now. Today matters.
How we respond to the things of today,
Will determine how our tomorrow goes.

Though the Battle may get tough…
Seek your strength from prayer,
Not people. Be open, and trustworthy, live in full communion, with our Heavenly Father.

Love waits…patiently.

So today, if you are single young lady…Will you make the choice to wait patiently and proactively?!?

We all have a choice in how we can live our lives. Looking forward to what God has for us today and every day to come, or impatiently waiting for the day we will meet
“The one” and possibly missing out on opportunities today.

So, as much as we want to plan out our picture-perfect lives…we unfortunately can’t, but on the brighter side of that, Life always has a way of surprising you with unexpected things that will make you even happier than you originally planned, so that’s always
something to look forward to ❤

Sisters, in closing I would like to say,
Like I have said before in my previous post…
Never be ashamed of your Singleness!
Just because you are the only girl you know who isn’t dating, doesn’t mean you are not worth waiting for…
There is a man out there waiting just as patiently as you are, We just have to TRUST God!

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Never forget that you are worth the wait!!

Until next time,

~Kerrington

{Parenting} The kingdom of heaven belongs to them.

By: Mandy Hill

Then little children were brought to Him for Him to lay His hands on them and pray. But the disciples scolded those who brought them. But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not try to stop them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” And He placed His hands on them and went on His way. (Matthew 19:13-15)

Last Friday I talked about a miracle that was taking place in my daughters body after being in hospital for a week. She had just had surgery on her bladder/kidneys exactly one week prior and we witnessed a miracle as we watched her go from no output at all, to literally watching the floodgates open wide.

Well, today marks day 16, and we are still here. We have seen many miracles along the way and God has spoken to my heart almost every single one of those 16 days.

More specifically the last several nights have been difficult. My daughter, Sophia, has been recovering wonderfully during the day….but then suffering much with pain during the night. This results in lack of sleep for the both of us; and provides solitary time for Mommy to worry.

As I was worrying a couple nights ago, I was prompted with this verse: Do not worry about anything. Instead, in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God. And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

God was giving me precious time to spend leaning on Him, and I was wasting it away with worry. Feeding doubts and starving hope.

As I began to turn my worry into prayers and thankfulness….I was also reminded of the verse where Jesus tells the children to come to Him. I quickly got out of my bed, walked over and knelt beside my daughters bed. In her anguish, I told her we were going to pray and ask Jesus to help us. This was four in the morning and she soon after fell into a restful sleep that brought us through to 8am! Thank you, Jesus. And, as she drifted off into a peaceful sleep, peace settled into my heart and I was also able to sleep.

Last evening, I prayed as I tucked her in that she would find rest and healing through the night. She prayed as well “Jesus, please keep my belly safe and don’t let the boo-boos come back!” We turned out the lights for her around 9:30pm and she slept straight through until 6am! Another miracle.

God has given me some pretty remarkable doses of peace along this journey. He is teaching me much, but I think the most incredible thing He has allowed me to be a part of so far is allowing me to show Sophia that “in every situation, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, tell your requests to God.” I pray that even though she is young, she is a wise three year old and will remember the times that we called out to God and He helped us. He gave us peace. He answered our prayers. He gave us another miracle.

Heavenly Father, thank you for your peace in our times of worry. Thank you for your new mercies every morning! Thank you for your faithfulness in all situations. Jesus I pray that you will continue to work a healing in Sophia’s body. You know the reasons why we are here and why this journey has been longer than we expected. I pray that you will see it through and bring us home to the rest of our family soon. In times of worry, I pray that you will never let me forget to turn to you, to always pray instead. Help me to gently and effectively teach my daughter this same lesson, so that she may grow to be a woman who always turns to you in times of trouble. Thank you Jesus for her life, I know you have bright plans for her future. In your name, amen.

{Parenting} Thankfulness…in the journey of expecting….true deliverance!

Dec 11-June 12 256

By Cindy Morrone

Sometime later, our social worker called again and said, “Cindy I have something to talk with you about.” My heart raced and I knew that I knew that this was the answer to our prayers. She said, “Twin baby girls, I have my reservations…..” We certainly did too.

This process was not easy either and there were major risks involved. However, that is a story for another day, one that is for my daughters to tell. As we were going through the process, we again prayed earnestly and the Lord showed us His will. It is His will that we are now the parents of twin girls! Beautiful girls who have brought indescribable joy to our lives. They are nothing less than amazing, miracles that the Lord has so graciously gifted us with. One of their names means, ‘faith unseen’ and the other means, ‘God is my strength’. They share the middle name Grace meaning, ‘God’s free and unmerited favour for sinful humanity.’

They came to us in the month of December—Christmas gifts indeed!! And our lives have never been the same. Could I have ever imagined, such an answer to such a desperate prayer?

Absolutely, never.

“He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD.” (Psalm 113:9)

Thank you for sharing in this story with us! We appreciate your patience in the waiting. My prayer for you is that you would experience God in such an amazing way. Perhaps your journey has nothing to do with having children, but no matter, He knows what Your very, heart’s desire is and He longs to meet you in such a place. Our family is a living testimony to the faithfulness of our God!

“Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God;
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:28-31)

Dear Heavenly and Gracious Father,
Let the truth of Your faithfulness and goodness sink deep into our hearts. Help us to hold onto hope while in the journey, knowing that You are responding. That You never leave us or forsake us and that in all things You work for our good (Romans 8:28). In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

{Marriage}—Yesteryear…..

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By Cindy Morrone

It was 19 years ago, that we married. It was a most beautiful October day. The warm temperatures and fall colours seemed to be deliberately ordered and hand delivered. We celebrated with family and friends by ceremony and a feast afterwards!

As we celebrated our anniversary, my husband and I reminisced, laughing at how different our lives are now compared to back then. We were younger, carefree, and responsible for only ourselves. We could dine fine and nap in the afternoons whether we needed one or not. Today, we are older and desperately need a nap but there are none to be found. Fine, dining funds are spent on bills and a mortgage. We have two very, precious daughters under our care. Where we could spend hours talking and talking with the luxury of time on our side, these days it is a conscious effort to complete a sentence!

We wouldn’t trade it; we wouldn’t trade our journey……

God’s revelation to us with every step.

He is showing us how to love; like He does. We can see it now with every leap.
(This list is not meant to be all inclusive; to list all that He is; is too lofty for this girl! These are highlights of His revelations to us in our marriage journey).

His love is unconditional…..

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

His kind of love does not require a condition, the perfect performance, or the right words and actions, it just is. It’s to love for the sake of loving. To embrace the privilege of adoring another of God’s most precious creations.

Jesus help us to love our spouses, like You do; like You love us…..without condition.

His love is sacrificial…..

“I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15: 11-13)

His kind of love is defined by service to one another. What can I do today to show my spouse that he is a priority to me? That although I have all this other stuff on my mind that is demanding my attention, that his well-being matters to me. What can I do to show him that?

Jesus, help us to show our husbands this very day that they are most important to us. What would really bless them today? You are so good at lavishing with blessings; help us to do the same.

His love is never ending…..

Reading Psalm 136 we are told over and over and over again that “His love endures forever.”

No matter what the circumstance; no matter how the fight started our love is to endure. Our love is to tolerate, bear, carry on, keep on and persist. That we realize the battle raging is separate from our love for each other. If our love can endure, then the battle can be fought as a united front.

Jesus help our love for one another to endure. Help us to see, truly see, that the war is not against each other, “…but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” (Ephesians 6:12)

I am so thankful God chose my husband for me and that my husband has chosen to take this love journey with me. For I have his hand to hold when we walk leisurely, run until we are out of breath and leap into the unknown!

Dear Heavenly and Gracious Father,Thank you for the gift of marriage. Thank you that we can celebrate years spent unified in marriage. What a joy! Lord, God we want to love like You do and we know it’s possible because You have commanded it (John 13:34). We want to love our spouse without condition, in purposeful effort to serve before our own needs. We want to love everlasting. We ask God that You would give us the desires of our hearts and set our minds and intentions on loving our spouses in a new and fresh way. In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.

{Parenting} Thankfulness…..in the journey of expecting—(Part 1)

Dec 11-June 12 253
Are you willing to go on a long journey with me? Are you willing to wait it out a few posts? Because what I am about to share cannot be said in just one. Many of you are familiar with our story and some have actually lived it with us, but for those who are unaware, hang on and be amazed at how awesome our God is!

To be honest with you, I am still really hesitant to share. I am not certain what this hesitancy is. Perhaps it’s because it’s so real, raw, and intimate; such a personal glimpse into our family. My only driving force to share is to encourage and give hope. To be a testimony to a faithful God who delivers on His promises.

“…but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:28-31)

Have you ever been expecting? Are you so pregnant with a want; a desire, that you have thought of little else? The want and desire so all consuming and you have no control over its delivery.

To expect is to anticipate; look forward to…..

To hope for…..

I’ve shared in previous posts how the very desire to become a mother happened in church. My husband and I lived in Richmond, Virginia for a few years. It was there while I listened to our Pastor tell the children a story just before they left for children’s church. I watched, the beautiful, little ones listening intently and God whispered in my ear the desire—my very heart’s desire to be a Mom.

A seed was planted.

Shortly thereafter as God had planned, we moved back home to Canada. We were so excited about starting a family and about the prospects of ‘settling down.’ Every month we anticipated the opportunity of becoming parents and every month we were disappointed. Nothing.

Month,
after month,
after month, after month, after month……

Each loss settling on my heart like scar tissue. Months turned into a year and a year into two, however hope would not die.

We saw a specialist and I was diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome. Then a laparoscopy showed a shortened left fallopian tube with cause unknown. The specialist attempted some procedures to no avail.

We ended treatment shortly after. Nothing.

Two years turned to five and the despair and the loss were unbearable. My heart became so hardened by the losses that only scar tissue was left.

Now this is where I get real and where I share my innermost, private and personal thoughts. I put myself at risk of being vulnerable and exposed before you because it is in these places where the Lord, my Abba, Father touched my very soul.

With these losses, I questioned God. Why Lord? What have I done that is so wrong? I thought You forgave me of my sins? Why Lord am I not getting pregnant? I have given my life to You and You Lord have put the desire in my heart; You Lord planted this seed. Why can others so easily get pregnant?

Have you ever been there? Hopeless? Are you so pregnant with a want or desire that you are consumed? Are you there?

There is hope in the journey…..

God needed an opportunity to reveal Himself and work on our behalf. He was responding…..
To be continued…..