When he asked me to marry him, I instantly knew what it felt like to be chosen. Chosen to be loved for a lifetime.
It was a cold winter night and the planned proposal was thrown aside. He could no longer wait. As we talked about our future with a pine-tree lined driveway, a white picket fence and two children playing in the yard, he reached for the ring and popped the question!
After a long engagement, I graduated from university and we were married in that same year. That was over 20 years ago!
As I reflect on our marriage, I have some things I’d like to share.
When we were first married and for some time afterwards, I misdirected my dependence on my husband.
I looked to him to fix everything—my broken-down car, house repairs, finances and my emotional well-being.
I looked to him to have a good time, to take away my fears and heal my hurts.
He, being my main squeeze was my everything.
And it was for a time in newlywed bliss.
I blame it on ignorance. I blame it on relationships depicted in the movies. I blame it on remaining childhood hurts.
I blame it on not knowing how God intended marriage.
Blame aside, through these 20 plus years, I’ve learned that my wonderful, amazing, passionate husband cannot and is not meant to fix my everything.
I misdirected my dependence on him.
As a result, I placed undue burden on him and our marriage and was still left unfixed.
It isn’t his place; it is God’s place.
As awesome as he is (and he is!); God is The Awesome One!!
I was (and this is a word we no longer use very often) idolizing my hubster.
This Truth goes way back to the 10 commandments (again, not considered as often) shared with the Israelites; God’s chosen people in their journey to freedom from slavery.
“You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.” Exodus 20:4
We have learned that when we go to the Lord instead of depending on each other, we become healthier and stronger as individuals and in our marriage.
When we can listen, hold a hand and wipe a tear and then bring each other’s requests to God in prayer that our marriage stays strong.
When we follow the greatest commandment, Jesus replied:”’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ Matthew 22:37 our marriage thrives in unity.
I am so happy for you Bride-To-Be!!! This is such an exciting time in your life. It is amazing that someone has chosen you to love for a lifetime!! Enjoy the moment and hold onto the promises made. Let God be your first; your everything and He will bless you and your Groom-To-Be beyond anything told in a fairytale.
Sincerely, Dependent on Him; not him