“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps” Proverbs 16:9
How wonderful to know that God has a direction for us, a specific plan, and if we are willing to listen and change our plans, His will for our life will be accomplished! I can remember being a child and dreaming about what my future would look like. So many desires in my heart, so many ‘career’ options. I remember preaching my first ever sermon to my stuffies who were gathered under my Christmas tree, my toboggan served as my pulpit. I was doing an awesome job, if I do say so myself, until my pulpit slipped from my grip and fell into said tree, crushing it and my audience. I also remember that my job as a bicycle repair person was short lived, as was the life of my bicycle.
One thing I never got away from, though, was being a mom. That desire never left. Nor did my love for my husband, I spent many hours as a 12 year old begging God to “please, let me marry him someday!” I look at my four beautiful kids and my loving husband and think how blessed I am, but the road wasn’t easy. It all fell into place but not right away, and it would’ve went much more smoothly had I learned at an early age to trust God and His timing with my life plans.
My 14 year old son, who is now taller than me, is an answer to prayer. I wanted children so bad, six of them by the way, that was my life goal. A houseful of babies. But after four years, there were no baby cries, only cries from my aching heart. I was getting bitter, frustrated, and unable to even look at a newborn without a stabbing feeling in my chest. I was a wreck. I had focused so much on something I wanted so badly that it was literally stealing my life. I didn’t want to go out, I didn’t want to see people, I just wanted to stay home and focus on how unfair it was that I couldn’t have something I wanted so badly.
One day, while I was doing my devotions, God spoke to my heart. Was I putting my plans before His will? Did I trust Him to give me what was best for me? Had I made an idol of this desire? I knew He could heal my heart if it wasn’t in His plan for me to be a mother, but I had to be willing to let go of what I so desperately wanted. I had to trust that He had the best plans for me, ones that would prosper me and not harm me. One that would give me a future and hope. It was funny because one month later I found out we were expecting. I was so shocked that I used four tests. My husband wasn’t home, so I called him and told him he had to come home right away. While he was on his way God showed him what I was I was going to tell him. I don’t know, would it have happened anyway, or was it because God was teaching me a lesson through it all, that I needed to be obedient no matter the cost.
I believe it was the latter because I’ve had to call on that experience many times through my faith walk, in all of them surrendering without knowing what the end result would be. It’s still tough sometimes. Have you ever felt like that? There was something you wanted or felt you needed so desperately that you were sure that you couldn’t go on living if you didn’t get it. Did you ever feel like God was with holding the best things from you? I can assure you He never does. He always has a plan, one that outshines any that you or I could come up with for ourselves. The only thing we have to be is willing. Willing to let go of our own plans and willing to accept His.
Isaiah 55:8-9 says, “’For My thought are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways’, says the Lord, ‘for as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.’”
How secure we can feel knowing that He has wonderful things planned for our lives if we can open our fist and be willing to change our plans.