My daughter’s grade 1 class is heading on a field trip this week. I had originally volunteered to go, but then was told they had enough parent volunteers and didn’t need me to join them. My little girl was disappointed, but didn’t seem to be overly so. On Monday I received a call saying that one of the parent volunteers was no longer able to make it and could I still be available. Of course I was happy to agree and have the opportunity to spend the day with my sweet middle daughter and her little friends. I will be honest though … I wasn’t super thrilled about giving up the entire day for this. It was supposed to be a relaxing ‘lieu’ day off work, after an incredibly busy weekend executing a large scale event that I’ve been planning since January. But the look on my sweet girls face when I told her I was coming along on the field trip was simply priceless. I knew that it meant the whole world to her that her Mommy was coming along and that this was our special day together. She hasn’t stopped talking about it since I told her and keeps mentioning how excited she is. At bedtime tonight she said ‘I can’t believe you’re coming on my field trip!’ The way her eyes light up when she talks about it, and the look of pure joy shining through her smile are enough to make it more than worthwhile.
It got me to thinking about who values their time with me as much as she does? Aside from my close loved ones and friends, I thought about God. I thought about how often I’ve pushed Him aside to do something selfish. Or simply pushed Him away because I was too busy to make the time. Too busy to care that He would love to spend time with me, that He valued our time together more than anyone else. I didn’t want to disappoint my little girl, so I agreed to give up something special to me, a well deserved day at home alone to relax, in order to fill her heart with joy and remind her that I love her and that she’s important to me. I couldn’t bear the thought of letting her down once I’d been asked to go. I so often though, am okay with letting God down. I know my daughter would have forgiven me for not going on the field trip, and she would have likely forgotten about it eventually. But I love that am able to give her that extra time she so craves with just her & I, not competing for my attention like when she and her sisters are all at home.
But isn’t it true that God is constantly competing for my attention? Between my family, work, and volunteer responsibilities, plus my evening rituals of Pilates and Facebook, where does He get to have time with me? Honestly, a lot of days, He doesn’t.
I know He loves me anyway. And I know He forgives me repeatedly for falling so short of being worthy of Him. He deserves to have at least a small chunk of my day, the day that He has made, for us to sit and chat, spend time together and for me to remind Him that He is above all else the most important part of my life and I am eternally grateful for His love, sacrifice, grace and forgiveness.
“I remember you upon my bed, and meditate on you in the watches of the night; for you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I will sing for joy. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me.”