Have you ever had someone say to you “Well, you should try walking in my shoes?” Maybe you haven’t had someone say that to you but I am sure you have heard the phrase. The phrase simply implies you understand the other person’s specific circumstances.
I am sure you would agree with me that often we should try to do this very thing in our marriage. We should attempt to see life from our spouse’s point of view. I bet you would also agree that a man and a woman view things differently. I am pretty sure I heard a couple, “You’ve got that right”’s from all the way over here. We just see life differently and that’s okay because God made us uniquely different.
With this in mind, I asked my husband if he would help me out on the blog today. Week after week we come together on Wednesday and we talk about life and marriage. Yet, week in and week out they are from my point of view. I write about things that God has whispered to my soul, and lessons I have learned as a woman. I thought it would be fun, and interesting for a change, to get Eric’s point of view.
I asked him one question.
What is your definition of a helpmate?
We have talked on more than one occasion about our role to our husband, but I wondered what he would say. His answer was sweet, comforting and very interesting. Here is what he had to say:
“I believe as a husband my role as a helpmate involves many things. My job is to support and encourage you and allow your dreams room to be fulfilled. It is my job to lead our home biblically and be constant. I want to be there to hold you, comfort you, to be constant and never wavering. I will believe in you, brag on you and help in equipping you with whatever you need. I will shield you and protect you and provide for you. I want to learn more about you everyday. I also think in order for me to be a good help mate I must allow you to see my strengths and my weaknesses.”
So after I stopped crying, I pondered all the similarities in our roles as helpmate to one another. I believe the support we lend to each other is the key. I am reminded of a verse in Proverbs:
Proverbs 31:25: Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come.
Normally this entire section of the Bible scares me because I often feel less of a women when I read it —but not today. Today taking a look through the eyes of my husband helps me gain a brand new perspective. Maybe, just maybe, the woman in this verse knows that not only because of her love for the Lord but also because of the support from her husband she is able to be all that she can be.
I can be confident of who I am in the Lord and still be virtuous, but when my spouse comes alongside me there in an increase in strength and we are able to laugh at the days to come. With Eric’s love and support and the never-ending love of my Saviour, I can get through anything. It encourages me to see things through my husband’s eyes and not just my own. It brings me comfort and peace to know that this is how God designed our marriages to be— the giving of ourselves to each other. In that giving we look more and more like Jesus and reflect His love to the world.
I pray your husband is your helpmate. I realize not all marriages are in a good place, but please know that there is comfort and safety in the arms of Jesus. If you are married, ask your husband what it means to be your helpmate and take a moment or two to venture in his shoes. I promise it will bring new perspective to your marriage relationship.
Ladies (and a few gentlemen I am sure) it is truly my pleasure to meet with you each week. I pray God has used these words to love on you in some way. Please know that even though we may never meet this side of heaven, I pray for you and hope you know that Jesus loves you more than anything!